Abortion and why I hate it

I have always loved kids, even when I myself was a kid. My mom has a picture of me as a two year-old feeding a bottle to my younger brother while I drank out of my own bottle. I am normally easy going, reserved, introverted. Yet I become very bold and animated when I see children suffering, especially at the hands of adults. I transform. People say, “Kevin, I never imagined you acting that way.”

Speaking up for kids is worth it.

That personality trait of mine is why my wife and I want to be foster parents, and why we love babysitting. That is also why I ardently speak AGAINST the heinous act of abortion. In my opinion, it is nothing short of child abuse and murder.

I present the arguments infavor of abortion that I have heard and counteract it with my own arguments:

Women have the right to decide what to do with their bodies. Well, there are actually a lot of laws that restrict people's freedom as to what to do with their bodies: for example, ingesting alcohol then driving a car. The law restricts what you can do as far as that goes (i.e. it prohibits it) because it causes harm to other people.

And think of this, if a woman has complete liberty over her body, why is prostitution illegal? It's because nobody lives in a vacuum. If a woman decides to engage in that practice, there are other people involved. The law has decided that the woman and others involved would be negatively impacted. Why can't that same logic be applied to abortion?

Further, I ask, why does the mother have the right to decide what to do with her body but the child doesn't have the right to decide what to do with ITS body? The child is connected to the mother, formed from the mother, yet it has a body of its own. Why doesn't it count as a human being with rights?

This leads to my next rebuttal:

The fetus doesn't count as a human being. I hate this argument, because if people agree that the baby isn't even human, then they rationalize that killing it makes it justifiable and less heart wrenching; in other words, that would mean abortion isn't murder. This argument blatantly ignores the fact that a fetus is essentially a developing child. It feels. It lives. It is a life. How can you see a fetus and not marvel at the human child sprouting? That's the truth, and no euphemistic label can change that.

There are humane abortion procedures. Another reason I hate the argument that the fetus isn't human is that it justifies this argument: it makes people believe that abortion can be humane. They reason that if the fetus isn't human, then it doesn't feel, and you don't have to feel guilty for performing an abortion.

Don't kid yourselves: the child (yes, the fetus is a child) feels, much earlier in the pregnancy than you think. Why do you think they shift themselves in the womb? Why do they kick? Stop rationalizing: there's no such thing as a humane abortion.

Even if there was an abortion procedure where the fetus felt nothing, and died quickly and painlessly, it doesn't change how cruel it is. A murder where the victim doesn't feel a thing is still a murder.

We're preventing the child from having a bad life. You don't know that.There are countless instances of people born into all sorts of less-than-ideal circumstances who overcome and succeed. Should we commit genocide against anyone whose future isn't bright? Who lives in challenging circumstances? Why should a child be killed on the assumption that his or her life will be awful?

Life is sweet, and children certainly don't deserve to be deprived of it.

If the parents (or mother, if the father chooses not to be involved) can't afford a child, they should have the option of aborting the pregnancy. Ok, then with that same logic, it would be justifiable for every parent who goes bankrupt to line up their kids and shoot them in the head. Then would you continue to say, "Parents have a right to choose what to do with their own flesh and blood, so I'll look the other way"?

If poverty meant you couldn't have kids, why are there lots of big families in poor countries? It's partially due to lack of contraception, but it's also because such families realize that they can make things work. No matter how big the family is.

Abortion is not the answer.

And do you think that abortion is cheap?

People are going to do it anyway. They might as well legitimize it so that professionals can do it right. This is a huge fallacy. That argument alone is never a good enough reason to not outlaw something.

For example, let's apply this same logic to murder. Murder is illegal, but people do it anyway. Making murder illegal means it more challenging to commit the murder, which makes the murder uglier instead of quick and clean if it were legal. If you can't stand someone, who am I to get in your way? No one should make you deal with that person. Murder being illegal means those who do it have no legitimate recourses. Therefore they have to resort to dirty, sketchy, back alley methods if they want to do it.

Based on the foregoing logic, murders could be performed more efficiently and humanely if we gave professionals the license to do it without intervention from the law. Why does no one make these arguments in favor of legalizing murder? Because we all agree that murder is wrong and that making it difficult is the point of making it illegal!

Just because people will do something anyway doesn't mean it's permissible.

Those mothers have no other option. So putting up the baby for adoption or raising the child on your own isn't an option? There are thousands childless couples who yearn for the opportunity of raising a baby.

In fact, one adoption agency, LDS family services, which my wife and I were hoping to adopt through, no longer provides adoption services. Why? Because a puny number of children are being placed for adoption. Perhaps more mothers are keeping their babies, but it's hard not to believe that abortions are largely to blame for the paltry availability of children to adopt. That's devastating to my wife and me. We WANT kids and too many biological parents are too selfish to provide people like us with that opportunity.

People should be able to have sex without being forced to give birth to a child they don't want. It disgusts me that people want to have abortion based on this argument. I loathe the thought that abortion is another contraceptive. They angrily demand the ability to have all the sex they want, no consequences, no commitment. People who argue in favor of abortion for those reasons are real monsters.

I hate the idea that children should die so adults can have unrestricted sex.

What about the teenage girls that go too far with their boyfriends? I understand that a teenage couple, thinking with their hormones, can get carried away without fully comprehending the consequences of their actions. That happens. They deserve compassion. Most of the time such people don't deserve harsh labels that they often receive. Raising the baby probably would be disastrous for the parents (or just the mother, if the father chooses not to be involved), although even then there are exceptions.

Adoption can literally and figuratively be a life-saver in that circumstance.

But what if the mother doesn't want to go through a pregnancy? Well, do you think abortion is a piece of cake? Do you think killing an unborn child is like a day at the spa? One cannot expect to be pregnant yet have their life completely unaffected by pregnancy.

But what if the mother's life is in danger? Or the pregnancy is a result of rape? I think abortion is justifiable in a handful of rare circumstances: for example, rape, or when the mother's life is in danger. I met a doctor that says that it's rare that a mother and child's life can't be saved, but it happens once in a blue moon. And it's horrible to me to think a woman should be forced to accept a pregnancy thrust upon her by a vile and criminal act. This doesn't necessarily mean that the abortion wouldn't be heart-wrenching for the mother, so she should ponder the decision carefully.

I think it's interesting, though, how I hardly ever hear people use that argument. It seems that more often the people in favor of abortion default to the rhetoric of "A woman has a right to decide what to do with her body." Or "She shouldn't have to have the baby if she doesn't want to."

And again, I ask, why does the mother get to have that choice but not the baby? That baby is a human being unto itself. It has rights, too. The fact that it is innocent and incapable of speaking for itself makes the act of depriving it of its life that much more appalling.

But you can't restrict women like that. Well, the tough truth is that being a mother means sacrificing freedoms and suffering inconveniences. Anyone who has ever raised a child can corroborate that. Pro-life people aren't inconveniencing you. Being a mother is.

I know my comments may be offensive to some, and I accept that. I would rather have people be offended so that more children can live. And like I said, I've always loved kids and am very bold and outspoken when defending them.

Immigrants

I feel uncomfortable with all the Canadians running loose in our country. I hate how they steal our jobs, clog up our hospitals, add to our ethnic diversity, and refuse to speak our language. Our European ancestors learned the language of the Native Americans, so why can't they speak American English?

We should round them all up and ship them to Toronto where they all belong.

They're not all from Toronto you say? Well, as far as I'm concerned, anything north of New York is Toronto.

Further, only people who speak the language of the land should live here. So anyone who doesn't speak Navajo, Cherokee, or any of the 300 languages indigenous to North America should leave the continent.

In case you haven't noticed, that was satire. My subtle rebuke of the some things my friends say that I strongly disagree with.

Now I'm going to speak seriously:

As a linguist, it rubs me the wrong way when people demand that immigrants speak only English, demanding that immigrants never speak their mother tongue. I appreciate the linguistic (and cultural) diversity that immigrants bring. After all, how hard did our European ancestors work to learn the Native American languages?

Refusing to allow other languages to be spoken is shutting the doors to a world of insight that can help you learn about your own language.

Besides, lots of immigrants are too old to learn a new language (especially the ones that are 50+). I admit, there are a lot of immigrants who don't learn English who could. The lost opportunities for them not knowing English is a punishment in and of itself. The law does not need to make it worse. Besides, an evaluation of linguistic capabilities is subjective and imperfect, and therefore if people were legally punished for not knowing English, how could it be possible to make a fair punishment for not speaking English? It would be especially cruel to people who are simply incapable of learning English, because of disability, age, or other factors.

Using the law to force people to speak English would be an example of the stick instead of the carrot, backfiring by instilling fear and demotivating people to lean English. The economic realities of the opportunities that come from knowing English are a very juicy carrot that millions of immigrants chase after, motivating them to learn it. And millions of them DO learn it.

Now you may be thinking, "Kevin, the government already requires English proficiency in order to pass the citizenship test." And you'd be right.

I actually think that the English proficiency requirement for citizenship is a good thing because it provides a positive incentive to chase after, instead of a punishment to dread.

But there are people who think that's not enough, and that immigrants should be raked over the coals for not knowing English.

I am against punishing people who don't have English proficiency, but I'm in favor providing positive incentives to motivate them to learn English.

I roll my eyes whenever someone says, "If I was to emigrate to another country, I'd be expected to learn the language there." Ok, then. Put your money where your mouth is, and live in a foreign country (Japan, for example) and learn their language. Oh, and make sure to find a large community of people from the US to associate with.  My bet is that many people who claim they would learn the language of the land would give up, either because of laziness, fear, incompetence, or other factors, and would default to English. Many would be diligent, persistent, and competent enough to learn the language. But not all.

Now, say that it was impossible to find a fellow American or anyone who spoke English? Then it's more likely that an American immigrant would learn the language of the land. You find similar phenomena in the US: immigrants whose communities are smaller are more likely to learn English. But if their community is large, it's easy to default to their native language, especially after they get discouraged about their abilities to learn a tough language (come on, Americans, you gotta admit that even you mess up English, so you can't blame foreigners for not always understanding English).

And you people who gripe about immigrants not learning English, how hard have you worked to help such people learn English? You might have more room to talk if you volunteer or work at schools for teaching English as a second language (which I have done; you don't see me complaining). But as long as you're too lazy to help anyone learn English, you have no right to complain about immigrants being too lazy to learn English.This country has always prided itself on being a country of immigrants. It truly has always been a country of immigrants. Let's learn from each other, and be understanding of each other.

I mean, English is derived from a tribal language spoken by the Angles and the Saxons. It could easily have become a rare or extinct language, like other languages in Angle-land. Instead of claiming English to be superior and forcing people to learn it, let's acknowledge that it's equal to other languages, and HELP people who struggle to learn it.

Another thing that people often say about immigrants that I often disagree with is, "They bring crime into our country." There are indeed many immigrants who commit crimes. But does that mean that every group of people that has criminals should be unilaterally blocked from or kicked out of this country? If so, then NO ONE could live here. Every race and ethnicity has criminals.

The key to curbing crime isn't necessarily in keeping people out--although I fully support the government's efforts to kick out and keep out individual immigrants that are PROVEN to be criminals. What exactly is the best way to curb crime in the US is a matter for another debate.

In short, immigrants are people, too. So they deserve to be treated with the golden rule.

BYU professors are not general authorities

I thought about adding this to my blog post "Mormon cultural myths debunked," but I figured most people wouldn't notice this addition, so I created a separate post for it.

BYU professors are general authorities, and therefore we should believe them. Please note, the vast majority of BYU professors are not general authorities; most general authorities are not BYU professors. A handful of professors aren't even Mormon. BYU professors are teachers, plain and simple. Most are well meaning, most are members of the LDS church in good standing (which is the kind of person BYU wants working for them). Most of them are right about most things, especially within their academic specialities.

But occasionally they're wrong. Sometimes they say things that are a little off, and every once in a while they say things that are flat-out apostate. So if a BYU professor says something that you feel doesn't really jive with the teachings of the prophets, you're probably right. Take what they say with a grain of salt.

Will chess die?

Technology has made leaps and bounds over the years. We have taught them how to play chess, and they can already beat us at our own game (it's gotten to the point where even the world chess champion can't beat a computer).

Computers have gotten so good at calculating the best moves that it appears that eventually they will "solve" chess. In other words, they will be able to determine the absolute best moves for either side to play in any circumstance in order to guarantee a victory or a draw (there's some debate about whether both sides playing equally as smart would lead to a draw or a victory; I won't go into that in this post).

This possibility leads to an interesting question for debate: when computers solve chess, will chess die? Will people become bored with it and stop playing it?

In my opinion, absolutely not! There are several factors that I think will save the game:

Displays of raw human strength have always intrigued audiences. For example, there is no question that machines can easily outlift human beings. Yet we are still in awe at the astounding strength of muscle men. Compared to other human beings, no one is better. The possibility of outperforming such people still attracts audiences and makes for enjoyable competion.

The same can be said of Olympic runners, like Usain Bolt. Even a crummy clunker car can outrun him, let alone the most advanced racecars and airplanes. Yet the whole world loves to watch him race because his speed compared to every other human being in the world is an awesome feat that we can all admire.

So it's reasonable to predict that the relative strength and weakness of our fellow humans at the chess board will still be fascinating to watch and take part in.

Here's another consideration: Even when computers solve chess, humans may never catch up to computers in a) memorizing or b) understanding all the possible moves it would take to win every single time. A human with either capability would be a genius. A human with both would have god-like powers at the chess board. Such a person would certainly captivate audiences.

It's extremely unlikely that more than one such person would exist. Let's say that happened. What then? It would be an even more intriguing display of talent. Even in the hypothetical, unlikely situation where they always draw every game, chess enthusiasts would still find many moments of instructive brilliance to appreciate.

Let's hypothesize again and assume that one day people completely lose interest in chess.

There is still an ace in the hole for chess, and that is VARIANTS.

A chess variant is any game that puts a new spin on conventional chess. It doesn't necessarily have to be a radical alternation of the familiar game (although there are lots of those). One rule change would be enough to change the outcome of the entire game to keep it interesting.

In fact, that's already been done. Chess has a lot of relatively new rules: in ancient times, the queen used to only move one square at a time diagonally, the bishop moved two squares, castling and en passant didn't exist, etc.

So it's not unreasonable for the international community to agree to a new rule (or several) to change up the game. For example, changing the set-up of the pieces (as in Fischer chess), capturing one's own pieces (useful in a handful of circumstances), no promoting the pawn on the 8th rank, going back to ancient rules, etc.

If people were still thirsty for more variation in chess, there's no shortage of radically alternative variants.

Many of those variants are waiting to be caught on to.

Heck, we could even play chess's cousins, descended from the same ancient game but which look different from "Western chess." For example, Xiangqi, or "Chinese chess."

It appears that computers will not be able to solve chess in our lifetime, maybe even several lifetimes. That's because it has 10^120 possible moves to hash through. Take a second to write a 1 with 120 zeros behind it, just to get an idea of how astounding that number is. No one has yet created a formula that can calculate and solve that puzzle, so right now they have to guess and check all possibilities, one move at a time.

This means that we can be confident that it may be centuries before a computer can solve chess, and even longer to solve all variants. So between the time it will take for computers to solve chess and the countless variants available, you and I can breathe easy knowing that we and our descendants (many generations of them, too) will be able to enjoy chess.

But what happens when computers solve all chess variants (who knows when that would happen)? I guess we'll just have to come up with some other game to play (as if there weren't a million to choose from right now).

Which kind of begs the question: will computers be able to solve every game we come up with? That's a debate for another day.

To my single friends

I ask for  your forgiveness as I indulge myself and speak about
marriage. Specifically, I want to offer a message of hope to those who feel like they may never get married.

To you I testified that the Lord hasn't forgotten you. He has
them graven upon the palms of his hands. He knows what it's like to go
for months without getting asked out or to get rejected again and
again.

Remember that the brethren have made it clear that all who are
faithful l will be blessed with a spouse in this life or the next. However long the wait is, it will seem like a brief moment. When the Lord makes a promise, it's as good as done.

Here's an important reason not to get down on yourself: I believe that discouragement is one of the tools of
the adversary to make us lose faith in the Lord's promises. If you feel like you'll never get married, you might just give up on looking for a spouse altogether.

My favorite example of someone who had to a long time to get married was Elder Oaks' wife. She must have been lovely young lady, but she waited patiently until her 50's. And she married
an apostle. How much worthier of a husband can you have than that?

Now, it might seem easy for me to say that since I'm married. But these thoughts I share with you came to me after 3 years of anxiety and frustration as a an RM itching to get married. So I know what you're feeling.

But when I came the realization that there is always hope for finding a spouse, all of those maddening feelings disappeared. It took another 2 years to find my wife, but,
with the patience that the Lord blessed me with, I felt like I could have waited many more years. But I'm grateful the Lord didn't make me wait :)

Marriage is ordained of God and that it is a commandment. And, like Nephi of old testified, the Lord always prepares a way to fulfill his commandments.

Things I appreciate about Kristina, the past year

For a year now I have kept a list of things my wife does and says that are really special. I get choked up when I review this list. I started it so that a) she knew how much I appreciated her, and b) I would have a reminder to myself of all the things (big and small) that make her wonderful. I plan on referring to this list (and expanding it) for years to come. If we ever face challenges in our marriages, this list will surely be a source of encouragement.

You'll notice it's slightly out of order. That's because I copied and pasted from 8 different lists that I kept (once I felt one list got too long, I started another one).

Perhaps you're reading this post looking for marriage advice. Well, I am sharing this mainly to brag about my wife. But her example stands out to spouses everywhere (including me) and it would be easily to glean great marriage ideas from my wife's example.

4/30/14 We had a fun time on Google hangouts (Google's version of Skype). It was like I came home for a minute even though I was at work (outside hallway).

5/15/14 Texts me everyday. I especially enjoy that she calls me and texts me during her lunch breaks. Usually she calls me cutie, sexy, honey, baby, hotty.

5/25/14 Helped the girls in the cast get their hair done

4/24/14 Surprised me with Italian on HER birthday

5/27/14 When I spent the night at the hotel for Military testing, I couldn't sleep. A mixture of excitement and anxiety came over me as I pondered how serious this commitment was. Kristina let me text her and call her on the phone. She said I could call her whenever I wanted and that she'd stay up with me as long as I needed her to. How supportive! Soldiers need that kind of support.

I have a lot of things going for me that will make me a solid soldier. But the best one is my wife.

When I had to travel for military testing, I couldn't fall asleep at the hotel because of how exciting and nerve-racking the reality of my enlistment is becoming.

My wife sacrificed her sleep to stay up talking to me and reassuring me, and was willing to pull an all-nighter to help me fall asleep. I mean it when I say I can't do it without my wife.

6/5/14 Yesterday was a sweet day. Kristina said I must have had a hard day at work, so she took us to Provo Towne Mall and got us Latino food. Then we went to FYE and bought movies. She bought me two movies I had wanted: Catching Fire and Zero Dark Thirty. She bought three other DVDs: First season of Chicago Fire, Sound of Music, and James and the Giant Peach. She spent $60 altogether. I felt bad, but Kristina sweetly insisted and said she wanted me to have some fun and that it was my turn to be treated to gifts and that I deserved it. Kristina and I were in a great mood.

Then I installed her shower head.

Surprised me with this text on Memorial Day:

(1/2) Look outside the window, sun rising for u, flowers smiling for u, birds singing 4 u, b'coz last night I told them to wish you u good morning!

Love you bu (2/2) tter cup! :)

6/7/14 Surprised me with the following:

A few days ago, bought me Hunger Games and Zero Dark Thirty at the FYE in the Provo Towne Mall

Today, bought me Catching Fire at Barnes and Noble while I was doing exit interviews at Best Buy on behalf of Bestmark.

Journal, Thursday, June 19, 2014, 7:08 am Last night Kristina and I had Spicy Thai for dinner. We watched 17 Again. She helped me do pushups and sit ups for basic training. She did some of those, plus jumping Jack's, stretches, and other exercises. I don't know what it is, but Kristina looks attractive when she exercises.

I should mention that Kristina enjoyed teasing me, tickling me, biting my bum and pulling my pants down, all the while telling me I couldn't laugh. She pushed me, literally and figuratively, and didn't let me take breaks. She would make a great drill Sergeant.

7/2/14 Surprised me at work by bringing me a sausage, egg and cheese sandwich.

7/6/14 Owned up to the fact that having another credit card drove her further into debt. Canceled one of the cards, and used her birthday money to pay off most of the credit card. She now sees why it's important to have a budget. She's going to work extra shifts to pay off the cancelled card. She is wasting no time in fixing it.

7/7/14 Gave a sweet testimony in church yesterday. She normally didn't like going up, so I thought it was awesome that she did yesterday (she's done it the past couple months). She talked about how she thought about  leaving the church, but when she prayed like her friend Heidi told her, she felt peace.

Kristina said she felt bad that she sometimes didn't come to our ward (usually it was to go to her parents' ward or her friend's ward).

I thought it was neat when she said she felt the Spirit while Carrie Underwood sang How Great Thou Art along with another religious themed song.

11/27/13 Hugged me extra close this morning. We laughed.

I love that she works hard to do her part.

Last night, she worked hard to clean up the kitchen and living room. I helped by doing laundry.

12/8/13 Has given me multiple second chances to improve.

12/20/13 I love going to weddings with her and reminiscing on our wedding.

I have noticed that she has done a good job recognizing my talents, my progress, and acknowledging why I'm angry.

1/7/14 The stories of her growing up touch my heart. She was an adorable kid.

Talking to her about money is a million times easier than it was a year ago.

2/23/14 Rehearsed my lines with me for an audition for Midsummer Night's Dream. She laughed with me at how ridiculous some of the lines were

Took me to see the Lego movie

Recognized that I was starting to get grouchy. So she volunteered to put away the groceries and insisted that I go to bed.

3/21/14 Takes her tablet with her to Wendy's so that I can watch Netflix or listen to Pandora when I visit her.

Dutifully runs errands for us during her free time.

3/28/14 woke up at 4 am to take me to work.

4/10/14 Made a fruit smoothie with our blender, put aluminium foil over it, and brought it to me for work; that was a nice surprise

4/13/14 Secretly wrote "I love you" in my green journal. That made me choke up.

4/21/14 Put Neosporin on my ear to make it up to me after playing too roughly with my ear.

4/24/14 She had us watch Heaven is for Real. I loved cuddling, laughing, and crying with her during the movie. It was a sweet reminder of how much she means to me. I want Kristina forever.

9/25/13 she is my defendant, ally, advocate, and spokesperson. When people are rude or unfair to me, she sticks up for me and often gets me freebies.

9/30/13 helped me get ready for work this morning. Made sure that I specifically got the microwave dinner she bought me.

She makes me feel loved and needed each morning. She does this by hugging me tightly, refusing to let go, and playfully insisting I stay home from work.

10/03/13 Has been supportive of me during my furlough. She has reassured me of her love through wOrds, and she has happily agreed to spend less. She has also helped me think of jobs to look for and apply for them

10/8/13 I loved going to an interview with Kristina yesterday. That was a special family memory. I loved how she brought me my razor (so I could shave) and hair clippers (so Natalie could cut my hair).

10/10/13 texted me wishing me luck on my interview

10/13/14 told me I smelled good, looked hot

Dropped me off at church. I had planned on walking home, but it turned out she was outside Elder's quorum waiting for me.

Texted me to wish me luck on my first day on the job. When I came home, she ran up to me and gave me a tight hug.

10/24/2013

She gave me compliments on my good looks. She wrote me a note saying that I was awesome and thanked me for listening to her fears about starting phlebotomy training. She says she loves having me there to reassure her.

10/29/13 has become proficient at phlebotomy. Drew blood from me and I hardly felt a thing.

11/2/13 cleaned up around the house to show she was sorry. She gave me $4 on case I needed it when I hung out with Mark and Spencer.

11/12/13 here's part of an email I sent her:

I'm proud of you for graduating phlebotomy. I'm confident you can find a job. I know you will love it.

I'm grateful for the time we spent yesterday. I loved flirting with you at your work. Thank you for bringing me lemon water. I'm eternally grateful for your companionship, friendship, and help. We make a great team!

I'm honored to have you as my eternal companion. I will happily work on my flaws so that I'm easier to deal with.

You are beautiful inside and out.

Love,
Kevin

I also loved playing the piano and singing primary songs with you yesterday. You fulfilled my dream of having a wife I could play music with :-)

Things I appreciate about Kristina part 3

7/22/13 Borrowed weird Al albums from the library and said I got her into them.

7/24/13 Watched me run the temple. to 5k, drove me to donate blood ( rested her hand on my foot to comfort me) and took care of me when I felt sick (put a cold towel on my head, rubbed my tummy, and put her arm around me)

7/29/13 Usually I make my own lunch for work. But Kristina made it for me last night. She also got us to bed early and insisted that I get some extra rest.

We laughed almost the entire day yesterday.

We read People magazine together. When she read summer of it on her own, she let me read some Sherlock Holmes.

7/30/13 She is as affectionate as I am. We both feel a special kind of bonding and healing when we cuddle or hug. This is one
of the main reasons I decided to marry her.

8/1/13 Is better at hiding, finding, and remembering stuff than I am.

8/4/13 has gotten me into a lot if fun stuff: karaoke, country, Bacheleorette, people magazine

8/6/13 Her skin is warm and mine is usually cold. We both love touching each other because she gets to cool out while I warm up.

8/9/13 stood by my side when my tire got a flat. We met at my work and we started to drive home, but my Pontiac's spare tire started rattling. Kristina saw me pull over to tighten it, so she pulled over, too, and helped me find the nearest Big O Tires. More than anything, she gave me her emotional support by being there.

She drove behind me in her Hyundai with her emergency lights and signaled for people to steer clear of me.

8/11/13 Shares the gospel with friends and with new people we meet. Usually she's the one to initiate a conversation aboutthe church.

8/13/13 Went voting with me.

8/16/13 Rushed me to the BYU bookstore so I could get Macbeth.

Bought me a hotdog at Costco

8/16/13 Found me while I was at the recreation center. She looked for me on all the treadmills and in the bathrooms. I laughed and was touched. I was in the lobby the whole time.

Found an awesome app for keeping a grocery list: "Out of milk"

8/19/13 Last year, when she visited California with her dad, she kept a journal of notes to me. I reread them and it was fun to relive that memory.

6/27/13 She is my eye candy. drop dead gorgeous

Has made it a point lately to say more nice things about me in front of other people.

6/28/13 Let me have time alone in the bath tub to chill off and prevent further arguments.

6/29/13 She also made spaghetti using Angel hair pasta, my favorite noodle.

6/30/13 Remembered at the last minute, when I completely forgot, that I had to play the organ. she rushed through traffic (i jokingly told her I'm glad she broke the law for me), dropped me off at the door, and looked for parking while I ran in. I was mad at myself for forgetting, but I'm grateful my wife was on the ball.

Complimented my organ music multiple times.

Says that she wouldn't be able to live without me.

Thought of the best idea for making genealogy interesting for kids: genealogy bingo! Using Reese pieces, gummy bears, pb m&ms, or other candy as tokens or prizes

Comes from a strong happy family. That's a big part of the reason why I wanted to marry her even when I didn't want to marry her.

7/2/13 Just before passing Beaver on our way to St. George, she volunteered to take the wheel. I admired how easily she merged. She is becoming a great freeway driver!

Called Grandma in a sweet voice to let her know we were in Ceder City.

7/6/13 Hit the golf balls at the St George driving range even though she never took classes. She did better than me at first. Made a funny joke: we could each imagine each other's faces on the golf balls and whack then to smithereens.

Has made time to let me read.

7/7/13 Apologized profusely for our arguments over money.

At the hotel, got me my favourite breakfast foods: waffles with strawberries with whip cream, oatmeal with brown sugar, orange juice, bagel with Strawberry cream cheese and biscuits and gravy.
7/9/13 Hugs me tightly and kisses me profusely before I leave for work each morning. makes me feel love and wanted.

Frequently visits me at work. Waits for me patiently outside the hallway. Sometimes scours the whole building looking for me.

Is outspoken and charming. We have received many freebees because of this quality.

7/10/13 Let me go home early from karaoke so I could sleep. She was quiet when she came home. She apologized for making noise, even though it didn't bother me. She also put an extra blanket over me to make me warm and tucked it tightly around me.

7/12/13 I took the love languages test and realized my language was Acts of Service. After looking through these two ongoing lists of this I appreciate about her, I realize she has already been speaking my love language loud and clear.

Based on what I've written, she has done:
10 Acts of Service
9 encouraging words
3 times hasyouched me physically I'm ways I appreciate
5 times spent time with me and I appreciated it. 
4 times has given me a gift of some sort

And this has just been over the past month. I'm sure all of these numbers will increase dramatically if I was to look overt the whole year we've been together.

7/13/13 Watched me at the ward. 5k. She did the walking race. When I finished I ran back and walked with her. Was proud that I finished 3rd. She has no idea how much it meant for me to see her there.

7/15/13 After a nasty fight over money, she diffused the argument by saying she understands why I'm frustrated with her spending habits, that she knows I want my financial sacrifices to be appreciated, and that she was sorry for embarrassing me at the store. She has made it a point lately to validate my feelings and show compassion for how I feel. Bless her.

Tells me almost everyday she misses me, even if we're only apart for an hour.

7/16/13 Uses her when money to pay for extra snacks she wants and that are not on the grocery list.

7/17/13 Left me a sweet note thanking me for being a wonderful husband. She also reminded me to laugh more than get mad, which is good advice. The note was from a book of notes with animal pictures.

7/18/13 I had a long list of things I needed to accomplish this week and Kristina has helped me accomplish a significant portion of them.

Last night, unpacked a box from the move that still had stuff in it.

Thought on her own how I should work tomorrow (6/11/13) instead of going to the movie with her. She told me she appreciates how hard I work to support our family. 

she suggested buying fewer things in order to save money, even though they were on sale. Bought me surprise gifts for father's day

6/15/13 When I started puking on the ride at the carnival, Kristina yelled at the top of her lungs to the operators to stop the ride. she yelled multiple times as loud as she could. they didn't hear her, but it touched me to hear her like a soldier screaming for aid for a wounded comrade. She is a soldier with fortitude.

6/16/13 Treated me to sizzlers for father's day. at first I was mad because I was worried about getting sick and I just wanted to enjoy a meal that Kim and Ned made. Also, I didn't feel right abou.t eating out on Sunday. but she paid for it out of her own pocket.  For her, it was a selfless sacrifice. plus, I got leftovers for lunch tomorrow. If I get sick, I'll be treated by the most gorgeous and helpful nurse in the world.

6/17/13 Plays the piano. We can share that music together and work on songs together as husband and wife. She also has a nice voice to go with my piano. Admires my talents.

had me switch from iPhone to HTC One. the HTC is about 1,000 times better than the iPhone.

6/19/13 Cuddles with me in bed. I don't know what it is, but hugging her and cuddling with her make me feel warm inside. It's therapeutic and relieves stress. It makes my love for her, grow more profoundly than anything else.

The following story still makes me want to cry happy tears when I read it (6/23/13) A couple months ago, I texted her saying my fruit that I had grabbed for breakfast weren't very good. She showed up at my work a few minutes later with sliced apples and fruit dip. I wanted to weep for joy when she did that because a) it was unexpected b) she had to work at 10, and came to my work at 9:30 meaning she had a time crunch, which means she made time just to make sure I had a good breakfast. c) with time being short, she still sliced the apples and put some of the dip in the container.

It was so simple, yet it was profoundly meaningful to me. It is one of my favorite memories of us as newlyweds.end of story

She put windshield washer fluid in her car well I put radiator fluid in my car. The fact that we did it at the same time whats a cute thing for a couple to do. That was actually a cute thing for us to do, a great date idea. It was like a picture of a perfect American family.

6/21/13 She is quick to apologize. It's anxious to learn and improve herself. Is determined not to let her slight learning disability get her down.

Is not jealous. Not embarrassed easily.

Paid for dinner at Spicy Thai yesterday. She splurged and got three things: a free pot sticker appitizer and masman curry, pineapple yellow curry and tom kai soup (which is a really good coconut milk soup) She had nearly $ 800 in the bank and could afford that. I am so proud of her for getting the hang of spending and her celebrating it unselfishly

6/23/13 memorized "I'll go where you want me to go". We both could sing that without the hymnal.

6/24/13 Whenever I find out the real reason why I'm angry (i.e. that I feel unappreciated or overwhelmed) she hugs me and assures me that she appreciates me and offers to help.

You can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. Kristina usually drinks deeply from the water, as long as she is led lovingly and gently. She'll even go back when you're notlooking.

Visits me at work. Her visits are a boost to my mind and spirit, and they are the highlight of my day. She's not embarrassed to kiss me in front of my co-workers.

If she ever has to use our American Express credit card, she reports it to me right away. She makes sure to hardly ever use it at all.

Offered to go Dutch at dinner to alleviate the cost.

6/25/13 Is quick to apologize, even when there's nothing to apologize for

Is anxious to learn how to drive on the freeway. She loves to use the cruise control. She has done a marvelous job getting the hang of freeway driving.

She winked at me in the temple in her adorable way! :)

Going to the temple First thing in the morning was her idea. she knew it would make me happy to go to the temple. We decided to go once a month. the morning is my favorite time of the day to go to the temple And she picked the perfect time n

After we get in arguments, I often find her in our room reading the scriptures, praying, or researching on the internet how to make it up to me.

Told Nixon to be nice to me. He was being a little due to me. She firmly stopped him and told him to be nice.

6/26/13 When I was upstairs stewing over an argument, she made a tasty breakfast: eggs with cheese and apples with peanut butter. This reminded me of the angel I have, and the treasure that's worth fighting for.

6/27/13 It's easier for me to write a list of things I love about her. I have to think really hard to come up with a list of things about her that bug me.

Putting your faith in the right place

I think it's troubling when people have a crisis of faith after reading some comment or blog post on the internet. Come on, are you really going to believe the words of some random internet troll and ditch your faith in God that easily? Dieter Uchtdorf, a prominent leader of the LDS church, said: "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."

A lot of people say, "I can't see why you belong to a church that has terrible people." What makes you assume I go because of the people? I don't go because I think that it automatically makes me, or anyone else who goes, better than everyone else. I go because I honestly believe God wants me to. I admit there are more dirt bags in my religion then there should be. I also assert that my religion has TONS of wonderful people, which people should be just as eager to point out.

But my faith is completely independent of anyone's actions. Which is actually quite liberating, because I'd be stressed if my devotion depended on the actions of 15 million people spread out across the globe; or if I let myself be influenced by the 7 billion people on this planet with their endless variety of opinions.

Plus, God is reliable: maybe some of those people are right about some things, but God is always right about everything. I'd rather trust in His all-knowing and perfectly-loving powers than in the partially-knowing, sometimes-but-not-always-friendly opinions of other people.

Trusting in God is a win-win situation: Only one person whose opinion should matter to you, and he knows everything and loves you perfectly. That's awesome, if you ask me.

By the way, if you were to completely disassociate with every group of people (religious or not) that had bad people, you'd probably end up living by yourself on an island: every country, business, religion, race, club, etc. has terrible people. But they all have wonderful people, too.

So quit being so judgmental, and quit letting other people's actions be the barometer for your own behavior.