My thoughts on the dissenting votes

There’s been a buzz among my LDS friends about the dissenting votes at conference over the weekend, so I’d like to chime in: It doesn’t bother me that those people dissented. The opportunity to express a dissenting vote shouldn’t be a mere formality; people should feel free to take the brethren up on the chance to show “by the same sign” that they oppose.

Those people should still feel welcome at church and they should feel no hesitation to be frank about their grievances. So harsh words, jumping to the conclusion that they're apostates bent on destroying the Church (maybe they are, but we don’t know that), etc. is inappropriate.

If there’s one good thing that came of it, it was the opportunity to reflect on the fact that I myself do sustain the prophet, and I feel more motivated to sustain him and the apostles. "Sustain" is synonymous with "support." It's possible to support a person while acknowledging their imperfections. There's no need to pretend that he knows everything or that he can do no wrong.

To the credit of the dissenters, they didn’t do any rabble-rousing or instigate a violent protest (although I can see why some people would think it’s obnoxious that they yelled).

To the Church’s credit, security didn’t kick those people out (showing that merely not sustaining the prophet isn’t grounds for getting kicked out of conference). Also, Uchtdorf took it in stride with “the vote has been noted” and proceeded with the meeting.

Final thought: don’t let that moment define this conference. So many ideas were shared that were meant to increase our faith and motivate us to be better people. Let’s spend more time focusing on those messages than on the debate of whether the dissenting votes were good or bad. With all the thought and preparation that goes into each conference talk, it would be a shame to neglect what the leaders had to say.

With so many good messages worth thinking about, let's not make a mountain out of a molehill.

Gays and the LDS Church

I am a heterosexual male. I have never questioned my sexual orientation, so I'm not going to pretend like I know what homosexuals experience in general.

In particular, I'm not going to pretend to know what dilemmas homosexuals face if they are members of the LDS Church (or are considering becoming LDS). I do know that many of them choose to be LDS and still have fulfilling lives. There are homosexuals who have found ways to reconcile their religious beliefs with their attractions. I think the media should do more to broadcast the voices of such people.

Some homosexuals enter into heterosexual marriages, some don't. Some "change" their sexual orientation (although I know there's controversy as to whether that's possible), some don't.

One thing the media has downplayed is the LDS Church's teaching to reach out in kindness towards homosexuals, even the ones who leave the Church. The media seems to be eager to portray the bad apples in the LDS church who are genuinely guilty of intolerance. The media seems to have neglected stories of Latter-day Saints who are compassionate in reaching out to the LGBT community.

In my opinion, an LDS homosexual who abstains from sex outside of marriage is similar to an LDS heterosexual who abstains from sex outside of marriage. That's because they know that there's more to life than sex, and even if they don't yet have the romantic relationships they long for, they can still find joy in life.

The main difference, of course, is the religious approval of one type of relationship over the other, which is one of the dilemmas that LDS homosexuals face.  So it’s important to be compassionate towards people who either are in the LDS church who have same-sex attraction, or who have left the Church in order to have a same-sex relationship. Those of us that don’t have same-sex attraction don’t know what it’s like. Most importantly, being homosexual and/or not being LDS does not make anyone a bad person.

On the legal side, I actually think it's okay for gay marriage to be legalized. In the past I was opposed to its legalization mainly on religious grounds, but I changed my opinion when I realized I didn't know of very many compelling secular reasons to oppose it.

However, I still think it's okay for religions to prohibit gay marriage among their followers. This is because, legally speaking, association with a religion (and thereby abiding by its policies) is voluntary. The law cannot mandate association with any religion, nor can it prohibit dissociation. 

I also feel that legally requiring religions to allow gay marriage within their religion is a violation of the first amendment.

It's important to remember that the first amendment allows people the legal freedom to voice their opinion. Thus, people (religious or otherwise) who are opposed to gay marriage are allowed to voice their opinion and vote accordingly. People who support gay marriage are also allowed to voice their opinion and vote accordingly. Both groups are also allowed to disagree with each other.

That said, if I were friends with a same sex couple that were going to be married, I'd be happy to be invited to their wedding.

One last note: The Book of Mormon doesn't say much about sex (a little, but not much), but it does say a TON about how destructive pride is. So if you think that homosexuality is grounds for withdrawing love from a loved one, your pride is more damaging than any sin you think your loved one engages in.